Learning The Hard Way

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Be grateful for being able to change your perspective and remember your spiritual duties are not what your ego believes to be true. Stay in alignment with what makes you happy and move away from all that doesn’t. “

– Guardians of Sorrow ©

Easier said than done right?  How do you decipher between you’re own selfish wants/ needs and the thinking of others? The enforcing of new rules and boundaries until they stick, how to be challenging without confrontation, the being in denial vs. knowing that we’re hiding from the truth – if only for now.

Unraveling the spaghetti junction above has a lot going on – to find that first initial pull to begin disentanglement. Past beliefs, morals, experiences, lessons we’ve had, or even still learning.  All the chapters that can now be closed.  All these factors themselves can go as deep or as shallow as our emotions see fit at that time.

Other people’s opinions, what role do they play?  Now, that’s where the knot becomes a double knot.  A knot so tight its been left many a time with no resolve.  More knots and spaghetti piled on top, with the hope that avoidance can create a new pathway that won’t result in the same outcome.

We must be careful though, of whose opinion and advice we seek – especially in times when we’re emotionally vulnerable.  Words are like swords and daggers, they need to be used with care and caution.  In the hands of a swordsman they can cut to the bone and scar for life or they can open up a deeper reality, removing the blindfold of illusion from our eyes. 

Everyones in training in some way or another. We just need to learn to trust our instincts when placing our trust of insight, into the right person and hopefully, at the right time! There’s a minefield of information out there and most of its just based purely on “someone’s” opinion.

As we unpick the knots of reflection and lessons, we begin to find that by taking the time to assess our thoughts and feelings, it starts to become clear which of the old behaviours we’ve let go of – or are still clinging tightly to.  Our comfort blankets, our resistance to change.

Which patterns are rocking up again?  A repeat of the same lesson just dressed up with different faces and locations.  Do we learn our lessons in life quickly?  Or do we laughingly joke, how we always “need to learn the hard way”?  What’s that all about anyway??  I believe, that it’s your inner guidance telling you that everyone can have an opinion; on what’s best for you and what they would do if it was them. But ultimately, learning the hard way means you’re somebody that learns better from absorbing the whole experience – start to finish for yourself.  Advice and guidance are heard but rarely taken.

Setting ourselves up to fail apparently!  Too self-willed to take the short cut forwards. Advice from those who’ve been there and done that same pathway before. Well, we all know that failure is Ok!  And it isn’t a negative at all.   On a whole anyway (I’m sure we could dig this last line our for hours if need be). I believe failure is Ok because what we get are the facts of what’s working and what’s not.  The process of elimination as they say.  The easy knots are lessons learned, allowing us a safe and happy passage forwards until the next bump in the road arises.

Society says, to forget the misgivings of our past.  The blinding truth of what was is now seen to be an illusion.  The blinding horrors now plain for us all to see.  No longer are people afraid to speak out about that which is wrong and unjust.  The taboos so dark no one must mention.  Although, clear for, “those who know, know”, they always knew what was happening to many.  Just pick a generation and the story is still the same. 

Consider this! How do we know that two people aren’t right for each other in a relationship?  Or that a friendship has run its course! A subject many are happy to have an opinion about.  But where do they draw that answer from? For example, Society said: Good families have a Mum and a Dad living with their children. Well, not anymore!  Those days were drummed into textbooks years ago.  Programming us into the blueprint of conformity.  Whereas now, Society knows; as long as a child or children are brought up in the loving care of any gender be that single or a couple mixed, same-sexed gender or even by Aliens – as long as the core foundation is stemming from unconditional love, kindness, compassion, and consistency,  then this is what gives children their platform to flourish and become who they want to be.

Sweeping what is known, under the carpet, look the other way, say nothing and it should never happen again.  Those who bare witness are shot down if they dare to challenge.  But here’s my point.  Just because we all know right from wrong, and the atrocities become exposed, how does the carpet sweeping of a taboo help it to never happen again?  Following the directives of others, silenced by fear, or taking on others’ opinions as our own – we know that doesn’t work to change anything.  So, as painful as it may be, we must always remember and acknowledge the wrongs that have been done.  To always speak out for what we know in our hearts is not right.  And it’s only then that we can truly make changes so that no one needs to go through “that” (whichever generation you’re looking at), so it never happens again.  Embracing the dark and the ugliness of our actions can only lead us towards hope, healing, and change.

Within all relationship dynamics, communication is always key – everything else extends from there.  Hurt and pain occur – its addressed, acknowledged and the pain is heard.  Healthy reflections of why it arose, taking true ownership, and responsibility in the parts played.  Having the ability to shift into some level of understanding from the other person’s perspective – doesn’t mean you agree but shows connected human empathy.  Finding a middle ground is a starting point – No! it won’t change the past but by holding it in our awareness we can lead by example and slowly make changes for our future. Society knows that fighting doesn’t change anything!

In loving memory of all those who’ve been left scarred from the atrocities of society.  May you live long enough to witness lasting changes”.

For help with finding your inner guidance and sword of truth click here – Beverley x

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